I have had a lot of changes in my life, and most of the time, I have come out on top. In April 1964, my mother died of breast cancer; leaving my father to bring up 3 young children, under the age of 5. My older sister, Mary, was at school, and she wasn't to hard to handle. Miriam was a little baby, and everyone loves a cute baby, so she went to live with an Auntie. But what about a 2 1/2 year old `mischievious' little bundle of joy. Well, I went to live with my grandparents. I don't remember much about that time, except I am sure I must of missed my Dad.
The time line is vague, but I think I must have been about 4 years old when we finally came together as a family, with our first `Nanny'. We had a number of different Nanny's over the years. I guess three rambunctious young girls was difficult for them to handle, but Aunty Dorothy stood the test. When she left, I was about 6 years old, and I felt abandoned again.
At age 11, my Dad re-married, and I thought this was great. Being the child of a single parent, in those days was difficult. I remember, life at school was really tough. Unfortunately (well, it seemed so at the time), along with a mother, came four older sisters. As far as I was concerned, one big sister to `boss me around' was quite enough to handle.
But of course, she wasn't the wicked stepmother, and there were no wicked step-sisters. We were a family of 7 girls, 2 of which were already married. There wasn't a lot of attention, for a little 11 year old; but I got to have my first birthday party, and I learnt how to brush my hair and even wear a dress. (You need to see my previous school photos to see how important that was to a young girl
Guess which ones me? Guess which girls I wanted to be like?
I burnt the Year 4 photo - it was just too bad!!
A couple of years later, as I moved into my teen years, Mum and Dad decided we needed a boy in the family, so they fostered a 4 year old, Gavin. Gavin had a little disability - a curvature of the spine - though you would never had known. When he got a little older he had to have an operation and wear a brace; so a lot of time was spent with him at hospitals etc. You can also imagine the attention he got from 7 sisters. This was a great addition to the family, and to make things more exciting, we decided it was time to move house. Another change; but what I thought was a good one!!
Over the years, married to a soldier, I discovered how much I loved moving house - I enjoyed change, and coped with it quite well. It was not until the death of my first child, and I went into `therapy' that I discovered that these earlier changes had affected me a little more than I'd realized. I still held some bitterness for the times I had felt abandoned, and what they now call my `rejection syndrome'. It is something, that over the years I have continually struggled with.
I have had my bad days (or should I say months/years) and my good days, but thank the Lord, I have always had Him by my side. We can sometimes see change as a negative, but with God's help, we can find the positives, and find our way to VICTORY!!
THE SERENITY PRAYER
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Author Unknown
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